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50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy S2E5: Monster Truck Driving & Flying High in Texas

You know what they say: “Everything is bigger in Texas.” That is very well true, but you wouldn’t think that’s the case if you were to see Baz and Nancy driving through the Lone Star State in a little red Fiat. While Baz may have briefly griped about this, he will soon get his wish of a bigger vehicle when he surprises Nancy with a monster truck adventure.

Upon entering the monster truck garage, one of the mechanical beasts is started up and its engine blast blares out like a shotgun. Startled but not running for the door, Nancy sees a gigantic, 1,800 horsepower behemoth of a truck in front of her. Soon, she’ll be behind the driver’s seat of one.

Once outfitted in the best monster truck fashion an Irish Mammy could hope for, Nancy reluctantly gets her hands on the wheel. As for dropping her foot onto the accelerator, that takes even more encouragement. Slowly but surely, Baz, Nancy and their instructor slowly move about a dirt course in a mini-school bus that was converted into a monster truck – it’s a safer model than the traditional models.

Throughout their ride, speed is rarely picked up and Nancy stays nervous. But, she has to put her nerves aside fast as she now must hit the gas and go over a jump – a jump of just 18”. Considering how much fear Nancy exuded, you’d have thought she’d been asked to jump the truck 18’. No less, Nancy bit her lip, pushed the pedal and bravely made it over the jump. Just as quickly as the jump was completed, Nancy couldn’t wait to get out from behind the wheel.

The next day, Baz once again chooses to test Nancy’s fear of water and heights by taking her to a daring waterpark. As Nancy observes a giant waterslide she has zero interest in going down, Baz coyly suggests that maybe she’d rather do an activity in which she is harnessed for the duration of. The more and more Nancy eagerly agrees, the easier it becomes for Baz to unveil their next adrenaline rush of an activity: a tandem swing hundreds of feet in the air.

Witnessing others swinging through the sky does, however, give Nancy brief pause. But, there’s no turning back and before Nancy knows it, she is fastened alongside Baz in the aforementioned harness. Let the high flying begin!

As soon as Baz gets the swing going, all that can be heard out of Nancy and he is a plethora of “woos!” There is no panic in Nancy; instead she surprisingly loves this ride. Baz is so thrilled by this that he can’t help but tell anyone who will listen how awesome his Mammy is.

Back on the ground, Nancy seems rather pleased with herself and the experience she’s had. In fact, Nancy loved the experience so much, she remained positively fixated on the swing as others gave it a whirl.

From the adventurous to the unusual, Baz aims to play to Nancy’s interest by taking her to Bingo. But, this is not your typical Bingo match. Nope, this is chicken poop Bingo. Held at a local saloon, players purchase numbered tickets. From there, they watch a chicken coop that’s mat is covered in numbers. If the bird happens to poop on your number, you win the prize money!

Although Nancy didn’t win, she thoroughly enjoyed the saloon. She played the game, did some country western dancing with Baz and got to hang out with a crew of happy Texans. “It was a nice end, to a nice day,” offered Nancy.

When the sun came up the following morning, Baz and Nancy briefly explored the site in which John F. Kennedy was assassinated – a “sad day” that occurred when Nancy was just 22-years-old. Considering the conspiracy theories and lies that have been forever attached to the question “Who killed Kennedy?” Baz wants to see what kind of lies Nancy has been telling him all these years.

With the help of a former Federal Marshall, Baz gets Nancy hooked up for a polygraph test, featuring questions he’s provided. Watching in a separate room with popcorn in hand, Baz is convinced that his Mammy is lying about a number of things. But, somehow her lie detector results say differently. Stunned, Baz is equally astonished when the tables are turned on him over a piece of jewellery he allegedly stole from Nancy. To try and prove his innocence, Baz is attached to the polygraph. His results? Well, let’s just say he didn’t come off as honest.

Following a mellow day that involved a riverboat tour and some of Baz’s mortal enemies (bats!), the duo prepare to spend some time working on an actual ranch. Little does Nancy know, but Baz has flown in her neighbour and best friend of 35 years, Dolores, for the occasion.

Hidden in the crowd of ranch workers during introductions, Dolores emerges (in full cowboy gear) and greets Nancy. Somehow, Nancy doesn’t recognize Dolores at first. This hilariously dumbfounds Baz, especially when Dolores begins asking Nancy some really personal questions and gets straight answers. By about the third or fourth question, Nancy finally clues in and screams with excitement, shortly followed by tears. She can’t believe her best friend is now by her side and ready to mosey around a ranch with her.

The next morning, it’s time to herd cattle, then help vaccinate, snip the ears off of and, yes, castrate some of them. Nancy vehemently refuses to do the latter, but proves to be a champ when it comes to the vaccinating part – of course her years of nursing experience helped her out here.

At the end of this busy day, Nancy and Dolores say thank you to their friendly ranch acquaintances by preparing them a traditional Irish stew. All at once, bellies and hearts are full as the sun sets in the distance.

-Adam Grant

Monday, November 21 (8pm ET/5pm PT) on the Season 2 finale of “50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy,” Baz and Nancy visit Japan for some fast cars, a natural disaster training course, as well as an astonishing makeover!